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"Oh How I Hate this Life "Written By: Lisa-chan Disclaimer: The characters of Gundam Wing are
not mine, the only thing that’s mine is the plot of this story. Warnings: shounen-ai, slight Relena bashing. Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Heero wants to kill himself for some
gloomy reason on every way he can think of. His friends try to stop
him, and that’s not always easy.
Oh How I hate This Life! “Three… two… one… and… Here goes nothing!” He pushed himself off the window-sill of his bedroom and started a quick descent to the backyard. The wind whistled along his ears, the cold nightly air rushed past his face and through his tousled hair, the lawn beneath him approached with a dizzying speed. He hit the ground, and then… nothing. Duo woke up from his restless sleep when he felt the cool air caressing his face and partly naked chest. He blinked a few times and lazily turned around, his sleepy eyes falling upon an open window. “Hey, who has opened that window?” he murmured. He propped himself up on his elbow and rubbed a few times in his eyes before letting his stare drop to Heero’s bed. “Heero, did you open… Heero?!” Only now he noticed that Heero no longer lay in his bed, and a deadly fear clutching at his heart, he stumbled out of his bed and ran to the window. “Heero!! Oh no, not again!” he wailed. Down below in the grass, lay an unconscious Heero, face down. Swiftly pulling a shirt over his nude form, he ran down the stairs and into the backyard. He jerked his friend around so he lay on his back and
checked his pulse. Fortunately, he was still alive. A groan woke him from his musings. Heero had regained
consciousness and slowly cracked his eyes open. When he saw Duo, he
seemed surprised, not to say shocked. “Duo? Aren’t I dead?” he asked confused. “No Heero, you’re not,” Duo said soberly. “Dammit. Didn’t work out again,” he sighed. Duo shook his head and helped his friend upright. “You
think you can walk?” he said. “’Course I can. What do you think I am, a
weakling?” he smirked, but when he leaned on his right leg, he
winced in pain. “Kuso, I have a broken leg.” “You want me to take a look at it?” Duo said
worried. The Japanese went sitting back down in the grass and
firmly clasped his calve between his two hands. “No no, it’s
okay. I’ll but it back in place myself. I can do that, I’ve
done it before. Hnnnnn!” His face reddened and sweat soon was
pouring down his forehead. “Heero, do you want me to call a doctor?”
Duo asked, awkwardly fumbling with the hem of his shirt. “No, I can handle it, really. Hnnnnnhhhnnnn!!”
A slight crack was audible, making Duo as good as faint, and a triumphant
smile appeared on Heero’s face. “There, all done!” “Heero, you’re… sickening. Really. You
know how I feel about it when you do that, still here you go, doing
it right in front of my nose,” he said, gagging and trying to
find some support against the wall. “Duo, keep it up like that and I’m gonna jump
again, I swear. Maybe I’ll be dead then!” Heero threatened. “Okay, I’ll hold my tongue,” Duo reassured
him, pulling him upright again. “But promise me not to do that
again, okay?” “What? Jumping out of the window or setting my
broken leg?” “Both.” “Okay,” Heero said, only hardly sounding convincing. “Besides, jumping out of your window, what were
you thinking. That’s not high enough to kill yourself.” “Hmm… yeah. You’re right,” Heero
pondered. “I know! The preventers’ building! That has to
be high enough. It counts up to fifteen floors.” “Heero, you’re not going to the preventers’
building!” Duo yelled, sticking an admonishing finger out to
him. “Oh, me and my big mouth. Why can’t I just shut up?
I should bite my tongue off, really.” “Hn. Baka,” Heero grunted, following his exuberant friend back inside. ********** As a new day dawned, so began yet again a new day of
agony for Heero’s former fellow pilots. They had made it their
personal quest to thwart their friend’s every single attempt
to end his life, and that wasn’t always easy. It required a lot
of cautiousness, strength and willpower to end every day with a still
living Heero. If he would even start doing such insane things at night
too, then it wouldn’t be long before they would lose their minds
themselves. It already started that morning. They all sat joined around
the kitchen table for breakfast, enjoying their scrambled eggs and
toast, until at once, Heero stopped eating and just stared in front
of him. Quatre was the first one to notice. “Heero, are you alright?” he asked, waving
his hand in front of the absent-minded, cobalt eyes. No answer followed.
There was something strange about the line of his lips. They pressed
together in a most awkward way. “Heero, say something,”
Quatre tried again. The others’ suspicion had awakened too now, and
since Wufei was the one who sat closest to Heero, he was the first
one to fathom why he acted like this. The steady rise and fall of
his chest had stopped. “Oh my god, he’s holding his breath, the guy’s
actually holding his breath!” he said alarmed. “What?!” Quatre yelled. “Heero, are you
trying to get yourself to suffocate?!” Useless to talk to him any further. He had indeed stopped
breathing and thus, talking was impossible. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much,”
Trowa said. “Eventually he’ll start breathing again. And
in the worst case, he’ll just pass out and his lungs will function
of themselves.” “I don’t think so. He’s turning purple.
What do we have to do? What do we have to do now?” Quatre yelped.
A glimpse of Duo sneaking up behind the chair Heero was sitting on
suddenly caught his attention. He was about to ask what he was up
to, but the braided boy motioned to be quiet. This seemed to work. He started to feel warm and sweat
started dribbling down his temples. The will to die was strong enough
to keep him from inhaling, although the urge to do so was growing
and growing to a nearly unbearable peak. But so far, he was doing
great. His vision started blurring, his mind started to drift off.
Somewhere in the distance, he even thought he could hear Quatre yelling
that he was turning purple. Perfect. This was absolutely brilliant.
Within a few moments he would be completely out of oxygen. He would
be dead and there was nothing his comrades could do about it. What
would they do? Break his mouth open? He had a strong pair of jaws.
Impossible. Just as he started to lose consciousness, he felt two
hands groping him at either side, their fingers probing between his
ribs, not in a way that hurt, but enough to startle him. He jumped
up and was forced to draw in a surprised breath. “There I had you scared, didn’t I?” Duo
laughed, tickling Heero like there was no tomorrow. Heero jerked his head around in frustration. “Why
the hell did you do that?!” he shouted. “I was *this* close
from suffocating!” “Heero, we are your friends and we care about you.
We’re not gonna let you die just like that, not while we can
see it,” Duo said. “Fine! Then leave me alone so I can die in peace.
I’m going to my bedroom,” Heero grunted, heading for the
stairs. “You’re not going anywhere,” Wufei said,
grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around again. “You’re
going to stay here and help me with the dishes. I wipe, you dry.” Muttering things under his breath, he went to get a
drying-cloth and waited for the first soaked plates to come his way.
After the plates followed the mugs, then the cutlery. Forks, spoons
and… knives. A sly grin crossed his lips as he picked up a large
bread-knife. He wiped the piece of cutlery dry and thoughtfully held
it up in both his hands. Noticing that Wufei was too busy scrubbing
the dried up fat off a pan to pay any attention to him, he raised
it up in the air, pint aimed at his chest, ready to plunge in his
heart. “Heero, don’t do it!” Duo cried, entering
the kitchen just in time. On that, Wufei tore his sweating face away
from the freaking pan and snatched the knife out of Heero’s hands
he moment he saw what he was up to. “Heero, dammit! Don’t you ever get tired of
it?!” he scowled. “Now, go sit on that chair and don’t
move an inch! Stay away from knives or any other sharp objects! Duo,
come over here. You will help me. Heero, not an inch!” Grunting in frustration again, he went sitting down
on the chair and let his gaze hover over the table for something breakable.
No such luck. Plastic bowls, carton milk box, more plastic stuff,
blender. Blender? A blender has knives. He threw a cautious glance
to his two friends. Both bowed in utmost concentration over the stubborn
fat in the pan. Good. Careful not to make too much noise, he shoved
the blender towards him and removed the lid. He reached inside for
the razors, but couldn’t feel anything. Something wasn’t
right here. He should’ve cut himself by now. Then why didn’t
he feel any pain? He peeked inside, and to his growing anger, he could
see that that clever jerk of a Wufei had removed the razors. Just
as he was about to cause a mild earthquake in the house, the bell
rang. Quatre happily bounced to the door and opened. “Special delivery for Heero Yuy from one Miss Relena
Peacecraft,” the boy on the door said, holding a huge bouquet
of flowers. “I’ll take that,” Heero said, jumping
up from the chair and darting towards the boy. He thanked him and
closed the door again. When he turned around again, he saw four aghast
faces staring at him. “What?” he said innocently. “I like getting
flowers.” “Yeah, but they’re from Relena,” Duo
said. “I thought you couldn’t stand her because she doesn’t
leave you alone and practically stalks you.” “Ehm… I changed… Yeah, I changed my mind,”
Heero stammered. “Oh, look. There’s a card.” “What does it say?” Quatre asked, curiously
digging his nose in the flowers. “Quatre, that’s none of our business,”
Trowa admonished his lover. “Oh, that’s alright. You can read it. In fact,
you can have it. Here you are, Quatre,” Heero said, handing him
the card. “You don’t need to know what it says?”
Wufei said. “Read it out loud, so I can hear it too. But make
sure to read it loud and clear, cause while you’re reading, I’m
gonna get a vase.” On that, they all gathered around the blond Arabian
to read the card. “Dear Heero,” Duo began. “Long time no
seen. I was wondering how you’ve been lately. Do you ever think
of me again? I do think of you a lot. So with these flowers and this
card, I would like to invite you to have dinner with me this evening.
I hope you can come. I’m really looking forward to it. Kisses,
Relena.” They all grimaced at the thought of having dinner with
Relena. Alone. With no-one else around. That was bound to be boring
as hell. “So Heero, are you gonna do it?” Quatre asked.
All four turned at him with an expectant look. Heero peeked from behind his bouquet, chewing on something.
Half of the flowers were gone. Not taken out or something, no, the
stems were still there. But the actual flowers, they had just disappeared. “Heero, have you been eating those flowers?”
Trowa asked. “Ehm… If I said no, would you believe me then?”
he smiled nervously. “I knew it!” Quatre exclaimed. “You weren’t
going to fetch a vase at all, now were you?! You just gave us the
card and let us read it out loud so you could go and poison yourself
with those flowers behind our back.” “Well yeah, who would’ve thought you’d
actually do it?” Heero laughed. “Are you insinuating with that that we are stupid,
Yuy?” Wufei growled, grabbing him by his shirt. “Now, easy does it, Wufei. I haven’t said
that,” Heero said, dropping the flowers. Ignoring the quarrel, Trowa picked up the remnants of the bouquet and took a close look at the flowers. “Hmm… Those aren’t poisonous. At least
not poisonous enough to kill a person,” he murmured. “What?!” Heero barked, jerking Wufei away
from him. “They’re not poisonous?! So I’m not gonna
die?!” “Nope. Tough luck, buddy,” Duo chirped, throwing
an arm around his friend. Heero pushed his arm away and looked at his four comrades
with a both distraught and frantic look in his eyes. Then, without
saying another word, he popped out his gun and held it against his
temple. No way they could stop him now. They would never be fast enough.
He would just pull he trigger and it would all be over. But the gunshot
he expected to hear, never came. Only a little click. He stupidly
looked from his gun to his friends, who all stood there with a slightly
triumphant grin on their faces. “Did you really think we were that stupid to let
you walk around with a loaded gun while we know that you have suicide
plans?” Duo said, showing him a handful of bullets. For a moment, Heero stood frozen in stupefaction that
Duo had actually managed to remove the bullets from his gun without
him noticing it, his gaze fixed upon the little gems in Duo’s
hand as if mesmerized. Then suddenly, like an arrow shooting away
from a bent bow, he leapt for the boy. “Give me those!” he shouted. But Duo quickly jumped aside, and instead of him, Heero
hit the floor. “Missed me! To slow!” Duo cheered. Stumbling
upright, Heero started running after him all around the house. Eventually
he could catch up with him and throw himself on top of him, making
both of them land on the ground in an awkward tangle of limbs, although
it wasn’t enough to make Duo release the bullets. He still held
them clutched tightly in his hand. Heero jerked Duo on his back and
straddled his hips, all the while reaching for the fist that held
his bullets. “Give them! Give them back!” he hollered. “No! no, I’m not giving them to you!”
Duo yelled. “Throwing me on the ground, straddling me! You’ll
have to do better than that!” “Well, would you look at that,” Quatre grinned, affectively putting his arm around Trowa’s narrow waist. “They’re trying to imitate us.” “Well, they’re doing a lousy job, ne my love?”
Trowa played along with his blond little angel. “They’re
still dressed.” That comment made both boys fall silent and they both looked at the smirking couple in astonishment, then at each other. Duo would’ve at once burst out in laughter, if it wasn’t for the fact that Heero quickly looked away. Why, was that shame in his eyes? Either way, that simple remark was enough to keep him calm… for now. ********** The rest of the day had gone by remarkably peaceful.
They had all made it to the evening without any further incidents.
How they had done it, they didn’t know, but Heero hadn’t
tried anything anymore. They were starting to let their guard down,
but they should’ve known better. He squinted from his friends to the television to his
friends again. Everyone was watching the screen, not him. Perfect.
He swiftly splashed the glass of water that he was pretending to drink
over his head and veered out of his chair towards the television in
an attempt to bash his head through the thick glass of the screen
and electrocute himself, if not breaking his skull first by the heavy
blow. They all jumped up in surprise and Quatre was just in
time to grab his foot and make him tumble to the ground just before
the Japanese could reach the television. “Heero, dammit! We’re trying to watch the
freakin’ show!” he scowled, pinning him firmly down against
the carpet. “Are you angry with me?” Heero said. “Yes, very angry!” So angry you could kill me?” “Yes, I am, in fact!” “Are you? Are you gonna kill me??” “No!!” He let Heero go from his grip, but
kept on prowling between him and the television in case he would make
a sudden dive again. “Hn. I’m gonna take a shower,” he grunted,
slouching away towards the bathroom. “You do that,” Quatre said, sitting down again
and cuddling cozy against Trowa. They all watched the rest of the show, and only then
they realized that Heero was already in the bathroom for half an hour. “Awfully long before Heero returns, ne?” Trowa
said. “Maybe he’s taking a bath instead of a shower,”
Wufei said shrugging. “A bath?!?” they all cried in unison. They
jumped out of the couch and hurried to the bathroom. Expecting to
find a bathtub filled to the brim with water and a lifeless body floating
around in it, they pushed the door open and burst inside. “Heero!!” they yelled in panic. “Hey, do you mind?! I’m trying to take a shower
here!” Heero shouted, peeking from behind the shower curtain,
although the water wasn’t running anymore. Seeing that Heero was still alive, they blew out a sigh
of relieve. “We’re sorry, Heero. We just thought you were
trying to drown yourself in the bathtub or cut your wrists with razor
blades,” Quatre said. “Hey, that’s such a great idea!” Heero
cheered. “Why didn’t I think of that? Thanks, Quatre! Wufei,
what are you doing?” The black-haired boy had started snooping around in
every cupboard he could find. “I’m taking all the razor
blades with me so you can’t slice your wrists. Why did that shower
of you take that long anyway? You’re already inhere for half
an hour,” he said, his hands laden with razor blades. “I… have my reasons,” the Japanese stammered. “Uhm… Someone’s gonna have to stay here
in case he’s gonna drown himself,” Trowa said thoughtfully. “What?! But-“ “I’ll stay,” Duo cut Heero’s protest
off. When the three others had left the room, Heero shyly
stepped a little further from behind the curtain, staring at Duo with
big eyes. “What’s wrong, Hee-chan?” Duo said in
slight amusement. “Think I’m gonna dissolve if you keep
on staring at me like that?” “No,” Heero said, quickly looking away and
blushing profusely. Duo’s eyes wandered over Heero’s naked body.
He had seen him without clothes before, except for his boxers. They
slept in the same bedroom after all, but never had he seen him like
this, with his skin gleaming with water and sweat. Suddenly he noticed
traces of a milky substance on his belly. “Heero, what’s that white stuff on you belly?”
he asked with genuine interest. “Nothing!” he squeaked, quickly wiping it
away with a washcloth. Duo squinted at him with a pondering look in his eyes.
“Heero, would you finally tell me why you want to kill yourself?”
he said. Heero threw him a swift glance. Should he tell him?
Should he not? Well, he might as well tell him, now he had him alone.
What did he have to lose anyway? He took a deep breath and began uttering
a series of words only his friend hopefully could put together in
a coherent whole. Eventually, it turned out to be something like this:
“Because I love you and I’m too afraid to tell you because
you would kill me then because you are not like that and if I have
to die anyway then I’d rather kill myself so I can choose myself
which way I wanna die and now you’re looking at me with that
stupid expression on you face and probably think I’m crazy and
now I’m gonna kill myself for sure!” “Heero! Duo yelled. “What?!” “I love you too!” Heero goggled at him in breathless wonder. “W-what?”
he stuttered. His heart was thundering in his throat. He saw Duo approaching,
their eyes locked together, and his breath hitched as the object of
his wet dreams shoved the curtain completely aside and stepped next
to him in the shower cabin, still fully dressed. “I love you
too, Heero Yuy,” he said silently. “You’re… You’re only saying that
so I wouldn’t try to kill myself anymore,” Heero breathed. “Sure I do,” Duo grinned. “A dead lover
is of no use to me. Besides, if you would be dead, we wouldn’t
be able to do this.” He reached forward and pressed his lips
on Heero’s. A first, the boy was surprised, but he smiled inwardly
as he soon felt him melt against him. “Duo…” he whispered when they broke apart
for air. “What?” Duo said, smiling about the nice shade
of red on Heero’s cheeks. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” Duo chuckled. “Yes, you’re an idiot. But if
it can be any comfort, you’re a damn sexy idiot.” Heero smiled back at him and kissed him again. He shoved the shower curtain close and sent Duo’s clothing flying through the air. Owari. |
